The 2016 Presidential Campaign – Good Samaritan

“Just then a lawyer stood up to test Jesus. …[W]anting to justify himself (what lawyer doesn’t?), he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”…[The answer], a man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away leaving him half dead.”

By chance Hillary Clinton was riding the same road with her entourage. At the scene of the injured man, Hillary shouted for her motorcade to stop. Reminded that “motors” would not be invented for another 1500 years, Hillary Clinton said, ‘then stop the donkeys!’

Observing the injured man, Hillary exclaimed: ‘see what happens with all of these guns. If we were to take the guns away from law abiding citizens, this never would have of happened’. Reminded by an aide that guns were another 1200 years away, Hillary said, ‘then swords! Let’s take the swords away from law abiding people, then the robbers won’t have them.’ Her entourage fully agreed and applauded her reasoned approach to this crime. And the “donkeycade” continued.

Next came a “donkeycade” with Bernie Sanders and his entourage. Stopping by the injured man, Bernie Sanders loudly exclaimed, ‘it is the problem of the banks. Their greed has infected society. We need to reign in these Wall Street bankers. ’ Reminded that Wall Street was nothing but a swamp at the time, Sanders continued, ‘well then, there must be bankers in Jerusalem. Whatever and whoever has money-other than me-must give it up. If there were no rich people, the poor people would not be attacking each other.’ His entourage fully agreed and applauded his reasoned approach to this crime. And the donkeycade continued.

Next came a donkeycade of Donald Trump. Seeing the injured man, Trump exclaimed to his entourage: ‘It’s the radical Muslims. We need to build a wall to keep these Muslims away from law abiding citizens.’ Reminded by his entourage that Islam would not exist for another 800 years, Trump then corrected himself: ‘Then lets build a wall between Israel and Samaria, or wherever. If we had a wall, this crime would not have been committed.’ His entourage fully agreed with his reasoned approach to this crime. And the donkeycade continued.

Next came the donkeycade of Ben Carson. Seeing the injured man, and himself being in a Physician of great talent, Carson went to the injured man. As antibiotics would not be invented for another 1900 years, Carson bathed the wounds in wine, since wine would act as an antibacterial. Carson then bathed the wounded areas in olive oil, which would permit the injured areas to heal. Carson then had his entourage load the injured man into his donkeycade, and brought the injured man to an Inn-since hospitals had not yet been invented. Carson told the innkeeper how to care for these injuries, paid the innkeeper, and told him if there were more expenses, Carson would pay the bill on his return.

One thousand, nine hundred and eighty three years later, the people of America cried out to the Lord, “Lord, look at our choices for 2016 President. A filthy rich woman who lies profusely and has promised to use her power of the presidency to outlaw those “deeply held religious beliefs” she has decided are outdated. Or a filthy rich man who promises to wall over our Southern Border and deport millions of productive workers whose only crime is that they seek a better life for their families. Please Lord, give us someone as President who is smart. Please give us someone as President who cares about injured people, seeing them not as a mere photo opportunity, but as real life people. Please Lord, give us a President who has had a disadvantaged youth, and overcame it. “

As the United States had sought the Lord’s help in the past, and remembering His kindness towards the nation, the Lord answered the prayers of the American people: “I have. But you have deemed him unfit because of an offense he committed when he was 10-years old. The candidates you have selected are your mirrors.”

For the timeless version, see Luke 10:25 ff.